Friday 9 May 2008

How do boys feel when girls make the first move?

Top three things that boys fear most:

1) Public humiliation
2) Public humiliation in front of a girl
3) Moths with special powers*

*this is actually number 1, I just didn't want to appear scared of moths in front of all the girls that read this

So, aside from the spectre of a bleak future governed by mutant moths, moving in on a girl is what scares us boys the most. Meaning that when chicks try to get off with us, we're very grateful.

There's just too much pressure on boys. If you time a first move to perfection, thunder will crackle overhead as your lips meet in an embrace so intense you're both oblivious to the rain pelting down onto your drenched bodies.

If you time it badly, you'll release an involuntary beef crisp burp onto her upper lip. Then you notice you're being watched by a urinating tramp.

It's a fine line between Hugh Grant and Avram Grant. So it's no wonder boys are wracked with nerves when they're expected to act. He might be so scared he does nothing at all, even if he's dead keen. In which case you may be forced to put him out of his misery. He'll appreciate it.

That said, you have to at least give him a chance. Although it's great when girls jump boys, it's kind of more romantic when boys jump girls. Try to make it easy for him, but if he's useless - pounce.

Ideally, it should work either way - boys and girls can both make the first move. My advice is: follow your heart, embrace spontaneity and - please, please - don't ever trust a moth.

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