For Carly:
Too long since our last
Real conversation - I miss
You Carly. Schnoofle.
For Laura:
Be still my beating
Heart. I see you and I can't
help but to smile.
Laura. I love you.
Plain and simple but oh-so
True. Marriage is win.
And seriously,
Fairy-tale romance? Psh!
I have things better.
And seventeen syllables of advice for you all:
Don't ask a rhino
A true-or-false question, he
will just mow you down.
Friday 28 March 2008
Wednesday 19 March 2008
Why do guys never want to be just mates, they always want something more?
Okay. You're a girl. Sell yourself (as a mate, please do not join a prostitution ring).
I bet you don't like football, you never remember jokes, you're useless at starting fires, you like rubbish music and you completely over-react if someone gives you a dead arm. Am I right? That's why boys don't want to be mates with you.
On the other hand, I bet you have jugs and lovely soft hair. Don't try to deny it. So yes, boys are generally mates with other boys, while they prefer to do other stuff with girls.
But if you think lads don't sometimes have genuine girl mates, that's just silly. If a boy thinks a girl is a cool person, he'll happily be her mate, no strings attached.
However, if you're ridiculously fit, in an obvious kind of way, then virtually every boy will entertain thoughts of 'something more', which could get irritating. But it can work both ways. Boy-girl friendships are often unequal and it's just as likely the girl has an unrequited crush.
If a 'mate' does fancy you, just make it totally and utterly clear you're not interested. It will stop them getting hurt more in the long-run. Then maybe you can still be friends afterwards.
Or you could just start a massive fire; he'll be well impressed.
DISCLAIMER: Please don't actually start a massive fire.
I bet you don't like football, you never remember jokes, you're useless at starting fires, you like rubbish music and you completely over-react if someone gives you a dead arm. Am I right? That's why boys don't want to be mates with you.
On the other hand, I bet you have jugs and lovely soft hair. Don't try to deny it. So yes, boys are generally mates with other boys, while they prefer to do other stuff with girls.
But if you think lads don't sometimes have genuine girl mates, that's just silly. If a boy thinks a girl is a cool person, he'll happily be her mate, no strings attached.
However, if you're ridiculously fit, in an obvious kind of way, then virtually every boy will entertain thoughts of 'something more', which could get irritating. But it can work both ways. Boy-girl friendships are often unequal and it's just as likely the girl has an unrequited crush.
If a 'mate' does fancy you, just make it totally and utterly clear you're not interested. It will stop them getting hurt more in the long-run. Then maybe you can still be friends afterwards.
Or you could just start a massive fire; he'll be well impressed.
DISCLAIMER: Please don't actually start a massive fire.
Saturday 15 March 2008
Why do boys like breasts so much?
Because they're wicked, is all I can offer. Well actually there is a genetic reason; apparently it's because they look like bums. But surely that begs the question: why do boys like bums? And I'm not sure I can answer that. But basically boys are programmed to like breasts and we can't do anything about it.
Anyway, what's not to like? They're soft, which means they can't hurt you even if you accidentally smashed your head against them - and you can't say that about many body parts. Plus they're kind of bouncy - and I defy you to name anything bouncy that is bad.
There's also the fact we rarely get to see them in real life. If girls everywhere insisted on always wearing earmuffs, I bet boys would be well into ears, you get me? Or maybe it's simply because we haven't got any, meaning our only access to baps is via girls. I've always wondered if lesbians like breasts as much as boys do. In fact I've been meaning to ask a lesbian this but keep forgetting. But now I'm just groping around desperately (for an explanation). It's clear there is no definitive answer.
Lovely stuff.
Sunday 9 March 2008
Handsome, Cute, or Hot? Which do lads prefer to be called?
-for Carly, who is missing my blogs: And Sarah, who actually asked the question-
-and for you, who is actually reading it, thxx-
I am clearly the most adept to be answering such a question, because I am regularly called all three. I have also been labelled as 'Adonis-like', 'Majestic', and 'a liar'.
Ok, let's consider the connotations. Handsome is fine, but it's probably also the word your Nan would use to describe you (Rule number one of pulling boys: never do anything that makes him think of his nan). Handsome sounds like something you might admire from a distance. A horse, for example. It's an acknowledgement of beauty, rather than a declared interest.
Cute can work both ways. You have to be careful how you use it. For example, rabbits are cute, but you wouldn't want to snog one(at least, I hope not). Slightly idiotic and juvenile behaviour can also be classed as cute. It borders on the patronising. But it can also be great to be called cute, because at it's best, it indicates someone thinks you're fit and a nice person.
Hot is different. It's purely looks-based. If you think someone's hot, it's pretty much guaranteed you wouldn't mind sticking your tongue down their throat. This is the exact reaction that boys want. So, it's never a bad thing to be called hot, unless you have a fever or are literally on fire. In which case, you would probably prefer to be showered with water rather than compliments.
So, in summary: number one is hot. It's a lad's best indicator he might get some action, because it's something his Nan would never say, unless she was referring to the heating.
-and for you, who is actually reading it, thxx-
I am clearly the most adept to be answering such a question, because I am regularly called all three. I have also been labelled as 'Adonis-like', 'Majestic', and 'a liar'.
Ok, let's consider the connotations. Handsome is fine, but it's probably also the word your Nan would use to describe you (Rule number one of pulling boys: never do anything that makes him think of his nan). Handsome sounds like something you might admire from a distance. A horse, for example. It's an acknowledgement of beauty, rather than a declared interest.
Cute can work both ways. You have to be careful how you use it. For example, rabbits are cute, but you wouldn't want to snog one(at least, I hope not). Slightly idiotic and juvenile behaviour can also be classed as cute. It borders on the patronising. But it can also be great to be called cute, because at it's best, it indicates someone thinks you're fit and a nice person.
Hot is different. It's purely looks-based. If you think someone's hot, it's pretty much guaranteed you wouldn't mind sticking your tongue down their throat. This is the exact reaction that boys want. So, it's never a bad thing to be called hot, unless you have a fever or are literally on fire. In which case, you would probably prefer to be showered with water rather than compliments.
So, in summary: number one is hot. It's a lad's best indicator he might get some action, because it's something his Nan would never say, unless she was referring to the heating.
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